Saturday, July 16, 2016


June 1, 2016… middle of the night
Trying to write a little something on my older laptop because I did not want to have to disconnect the external hard drive and the thumb drives from my shiny new laptop so I could write in my recliner instead of sit at my writing desk…. So it only took about 45 minutes to get to this point because my old laptop runs Vista. Yes I know that is soooo old. Just like my iPhone 4 but I just ordered a new phone and later today, after a nap known as bedtime, I will be switching that over. Rambling, something I do so well and oh too much! I have the tv on and one of my favorite movies “IT” running as some background noise. It is amazing how many things I think to write about when I am driving, doing dishes, waiting for the new dog to potty, but I will be dang if I can think of something worthy to write about when I actually sit down to write. My main problem is that I over think everything.
I am wearing a pair of shorts that have a big hole in the thigh. My husband can’t understand why I won’t throw them out. But you see, that hole was put there by my previous dog Bailey. She was a rescue pit mix, who came with a damaged paw which happened sometime before she had been found on the streets. We adopted her from a rescue shelter. She was a sweetheart and so loving. She came to me at a time when I really needed some emotional support. She slept with me and would get in the recliner with me and such. She had this thing about chewing up my clothes and my stuff.  No one else’s, just mine. She would take my stuff and put it on her bed. She was such a funny little girl. So sweet and such a stinker when I would try to make the bed. She would roll around on the bed making it almost impossible to put the clean sheets on, then when I got some of the bedding on she would lay down and refuse to move even if I covered her with the other bedding.  We paid $25.00 in fees at the shelter when we got her but built a $1200.00 fence to protect her! She was worth every penny!

When I would come home from work she would somehow know exactly what I needed emotionally. Play, snuggle, or lick my tears as my emotions of the day overwhelmed me. She loved going for car rides and meeting people.  I have a photo of her sticking her face out the driver side window at a drive thru because she was sure the girl was talking to HER! We did not know what to expect the first time she was around small kids, but she impressed us all with her gentleness!

She suddenly developed seizures and medication helped for a few weeks but then she just started seizing over and over and we took her into the animal ER and they could not stop them.  I lay nose to nose on floor with her as the life left her.  I stared straight into her eyes and let her know she was not alone.  It broke my heart. She was not even 3 years old.

July 02, 2016    afternoon
Oddly enough I wrote the last post about a month ago, and yet here I am wearing those shorts again.  I cannot part with them.  The shirt I am wearing looks like it was attacked by hungry moths however the holes are from my boy pup nibbling on my shirt.  That is what he does when he is feeling needy. He snuggles up against my side and nibbles my shirt or shorts. Needless to say that is why I don’t wear my good clothes just lounging around the house.

When I lost my pup Bailey, I did not know how I could ever open my heart to another new dog. But then our Shepherd who was now without a canine companion was so sad she didn’t want to eat or play, so we knew we needed to get another dog.  We again went to the shelter, and found our boy Bishop who was the last of his litter left behind.  Poor little guy had been taken away from his mom, watched all his siblings go away and had been fixed. He looked so sad and scared and I understood. 

We brought him home and he began to heal our hearts. He was also a pit mix and had a similar personality to our Bailey.  He loved to get in our laps (while he was still little) and sleep between us, and has to have his blanket. Poor little guy had managed to get kennel cough so bad in the couple of days he was at the shelter that it took 2 months and almost a thousand dollars to get him, our shepherd and my daughter’s dog who is hear a lot, to get better. He thought all car rides led to a shelter or vet and did NOT want to get into the car for rides.  Not too long after we got him, I was taken out of the field because of my physical pain and limitations. Bishop and I became so bonded being home together….

When we got Bishop, we knew our shepherd was getting older and having several health problems. We knew our time with her was growing shorter, but having a puppy around gave her a reason to get up and around more – she knew she needed to teach the new guy the ropes. It didn’t take long at all to realize Bishop had so much energy, more than our Maggie could possibly match and we knew the right thing to do was to get him a companion more his speed. We rescued Tessa, having been told she was a lab/pit mix, but we knew from looking at her she had no pit in her.  Not that we would care if she did, but it was obvious that she didn’t.  She had this big floppy ears and we did not know if she would grow into them. She was thin and we could see her ribs. It was heartbreaking! We were told the litter she belonged to was all just abandoned there at the shelter and she and her tiny sister were the last of the them. They had been there over a month. We chose her by her personality. She really wanted to see us and was so friendly.  With her appetite we knew it wouldn’t be long before she put some weight on.  And spunky she was! She drove our poor old Maggie a bit crazy but even at 15lbs she was ready to go and play with Bishop. She was not intimidated by the fact she was so little. It wasn’t long before they were best buddies and running and playing and having a great time. Maggie was happy to supervise from the sidelines aka the couch, however just having them around lifted Maggie’s spirits and ours. Bishop had moved from our bed to one of the recliners in our room shortly before we got Tessa.  She instantly took to sleeping in our bed and has ever since.  Her spot was between my husband and me, spooned up against my back with her little puppy nose on my neck. It turns out her little puppy breath on my neck is a great remedy for my anxiety.

** I fell asleep before I could finish this entry…. 

July 15, 2016
As fate would have it, a week later my darling Tessa, just over a year old came in from about 20 minutes outside late one night and kept licking her paw. I couldn’t see anything wrong with her paw and she went down the hall, I assumed to climb in bed with my sleeping husband – as she usually does at night. I happened to go into the bedroom a few minutes later and found her laying on a towel that was on the floor (from a spill) and she had vomited her dinner and pooped. I called to my husband because she would not get up and seemed a little out of it.  He said she was wobbly when he tried to get her to stand up. I went outside to see if there was a snake (we have had 2 previous dog v snake episodes) but I couldn’t find anything.  We called our regular vet, who was in an emergency surgery on someone else’s loving pet so we had to drive to the emergency animal hospital a bit further away.  Although Tessa was lethargic and “out of it” during the ride, when I finally broke and started to sob “don’t leave me” as I was trying to pet her and steady her as she was standing next to my seat, she still had the dedication to turn her head to me and try to lick my tears.  When we told of her symptoms upon arrival, the doc said it sounded like anaphylactic shock. Further examination and labs confirmed it.  Her liver enzymes were almost 1100 when less than 150 is the normal.  She was given several medications and admitted for IV fluids and observation overnight.  I was devastated to leave her.  I couldn’t even go into to see her because I knew my sobbing would upset her more.  My husband, ever my strength, went in and said she was standing and wagging her tail.  He took her one of her favorite blankets. I sobbed all the way home. It felt like I was reliving what we went through with my Bailey.  When we got home, her companion Bishop was very confused as to where his mate was. None of us really slept. We went back to the emergency vet at 6 am. Tessa was weak but happy to see us and ready to go home.  We had taken Bishop with us so he wouldn’t be left home alone and he was so happy to see her.

She is slowly acting more like herself but she does not have near the energy.  That is most likely due to the fact today’s vet recheck and labs show that her liver enzymes are still over 800.  Of course that is down from the near 1100 they were during the event but again less than 150 is the desired/normal number.  She has been placed on some medications to help her recover and hopefully bring her liver count down.  We have been keeping the dog door closed and monitoring all outside ventures.  Of course as she gains her strength back, she is going right back to chasing anything that moves.  She had caught a bird last week. It must have been flying low because she caught by the leg, somehow killed it then looked at me when I found her and acted like she did not know what to do with it! She has trapped and a killed kangaroo rat, gopher, the bird, and a lizard. I obviously can keep her inside under watchful eye forever but I will do my best to watch her well while her liver recovers and her numbers get back to normal.  We also we prescribed a “ready to go” syringe of epinephrine, which I have taped to the cupboard door next to the emergency vet info. Doc wants new labs in 2 weeks. She is bouncing back pretty well and without complaint.  She would seem normal to the unknowing observer, but to us we know she is a lot less active than her normal self.

Fatigue has set in and I must post before I fall asleep on my laptop again!!